This weekend I was going to carpe diem and set up my etsy shop and funny enough my computer couldn't access etsy for the whole weekend, it still won't (?). I kept looking around thinking for sure there was someone laughing at me. I am in the process of applying for my MFA again. I was accepted to a program last year that failed to mention that there is no way to get financial aid for their institution. So now I begin again trying to create more work and take better photos so that I can create a slideshow that is mac compatible( wish I had a mac). So I thought as I take quality photos maybe I'll set up my shop as well. A shop that mind you would only have originals as I do not own a printer. If anyone has suggestions for a basic good quality printer please let me know.

So after much frustration and feeling like I wanted to throw a good temper tantrum we took a trip to the local bookstore for a coffee and for the kids to look at books and play with the trains and what did I see but many people with their laptops or books ALONE and focused and I just for a moment wanted to be just that. Working in 20 minute increments is like starting a conversation over again each time. I am just so frustrated. I just need to find some time somewhere and a secret passageway to a nice quiet spot to collect my thoughts and carry on the conversation I have been starting for years now. I want to dive in but I feel like there is a string attached to my britches and life keeps reeling me in.

And the worst of it is I shouldn't complain I am so fortunate to have a beautiful family (as I say this August is having the temper tantrum I wanted)and a job I enjoy very much. The truth is I have a hard time staying home when the family goes out or leaving the room to go down to my studio. I don't want to miss a thing. Time is flying and I don't want to miss a thing.

So in closing I am thinking that being enrolled in an MFA program will force me to take time for my work and maybe I won't feel so guilty and then maybe, just maybe I'll set up shop and make a little money so I will feel like my work provides for the family and will feel a bit less selfish.

Please if you have any suggestions, and if you just want to whine to me as I just did feel free, I deserve it.

Hope you are all having a good start to the week.

I am off to visit Alexandra and begin goal setting.

Happy Autumn
I am always sad to see summer pass, but I do love the fall. Especially in New England. I grew up in Texas and drew pictures of trees with colorful leaves fluttering down, but the truth was I had never seen it. In Texas the leaves turned brown and fell. Here it is spectacular. Driving to work becomes amazing. When the morning and evenings are crisp and the afternoons perfect I find myself wanting to bake, go to the library, take long walks and create. I feel like I gather inspiration to keep me through the winter months as the squirrels gather nuts. It is the time to take it all in, to listen before the big quiet arrives and color is a memory.

shhhhhh

Soft, gray, silent.

Tuesday

It's Tuesday and I think I used up all of my energy on Monday.
What to do?

Fragment

Just a fragment left of a beautiful fall day. Stayed home with A&O. Took them to school ( a treat as I am usually working). Met friends for apple picking under a beautiful blue sky. Drove home in a bit of rain and alas the day finished with a rainbow.
Visit Nathalie's gorgeous blog for other fragments.

Wednesday Afternoon

Why is it that we claim that animals and even insects can sense fear, yet when we suggest that an animal is showing a certain emotion we run the risk of one thinking that we are somehow humanizing them? When I was a little girl I had a beautiful cockatiel that used to console me, and listen to me cry and even wipe the tears from my face with her beak. Skeptics would say it was because my tears were salty. Ants bury their dead, bees fall to the ground in devastation upon arriving to find their nest ruined by honey thieves. I think that animals and insects feel deeply and that we are a little arrogant to think that because we are more advanced, our brains a little more developed, that we are capable of greater emotion. I think of it a bit like children, they have fewer words to use to express themselves but their feelings are just as powerful, and sometimes their few words more powerfully express a thought than an adults complete sentence. Our relationships with animals are powerful and our connections are deeply emotional. We are here together to learn from one another, not to control, and I know with every bit of my four chambered heart and my complex brain that we are more "animal" than we know and that they are more "human" than we think.

A beautiful story Wesley the Owl.

Secure