This weekend I was going to carpe diem and set up my etsy shop and funny enough my computer couldn't access etsy for the whole weekend, it still won't (?). I kept looking around thinking for sure there was someone laughing at me. I am in the process of applying for my MFA again. I was accepted to a program last year that failed to mention that there is no way to get financial aid for their institution. So now I begin again trying to create more work and take better photos so that I can create a slideshow that is mac compatible( wish I had a mac). So I thought as I take quality photos maybe I'll set up my shop as well. A shop that mind you would only have originals as I do not own a printer. If anyone has suggestions for a basic good quality printer please let me know.
So after much frustration and feeling like I wanted to throw a good temper tantrum we took a trip to the local bookstore for a coffee and for the kids to look at books and play with the trains and what did I see but many people with their laptops or books ALONE and focused and I just for a moment wanted to be just that. Working in 20 minute increments is like starting a conversation over again each time. I am just so frustrated. I just need to find some time somewhere and a secret passageway to a nice quiet spot to collect my thoughts and carry on the conversation I have been starting for years now. I want to dive in but I feel like there is a string attached to my britches and life keeps reeling me in.
And the worst of it is I shouldn't complain I am so fortunate to have a beautiful family (as I say this August is having the temper tantrum I wanted)and a job I enjoy very much. The truth is I have a hard time staying home when the family goes out or leaving the room to go down to my studio. I don't want to miss a thing. Time is flying and I don't want to miss a thing.
So in closing I am thinking that being enrolled in an MFA program will force me to take time for my work and maybe I won't feel so guilty and then maybe, just maybe I'll set up shop and make a little money so I will feel like my work provides for the family and will feel a bit less selfish.
Please if you have any suggestions, and if you just want to whine to me as I just did feel free, I deserve it.
Hope you are all having a good start to the week.
I am off to visit Alexandra and begin goal setting.